Doggy Rhymes

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts — I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy — come to kill us all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man — come to kill us all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot —
Sniff this and weep.

I Hate my choke chain —
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot — no greater bliss — well,
Maybe catching cats.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.

Anonymous

Doggy Rant

Well, we were in this dog meeting, that's what we call it when the neighborhood pets get together, Jack and I were there, but we were interested in the cat in the next yard, because that is what we do at meetings, our minds wander, all this talk about leash laws and rabies shots, WHERE are the milkbones, I mean SHEESH, how are we supposed to sit for this long without some sort of treat?! These dogs here are crazy! So, Fido, the head pup at this so called meeting, gets up and goes over to the tree and starts peeing! Jack and I almost died! He just let it all hang out and pee all over the place, it wasn't until later, that we found out that it was a joke! Anyway, we were talking about us, because that is what we like to do. The heat and humidity here sucks, We can't even chase a ball without needing oxygen, the other hounds here seem used to it, where are they from, hades? Are these hell hounds that we are surrounded with? Our dog house keeper didn't come the other day, like we are really supposed to take care of that ourselves? Give us a break, please! Could someone please send us some treats, we are tired of this cat food pate that we seem to have an abundance of. We know Michel has not been around in a while so we wanted to keep her spirit intact! Can you tell that we are her dogs? - Kernel

Meeting

Jack: We saw Michel!
Kernel: Hey dummy, you did notice that I was here too!?
Jack: Michel looked great!
Kernel: If she was not my master, I would have humped her leg!
Jack: It was so great to see her!
Kernel: She probably thought that we forgot her!
Jack: She is unforgettable, she would never think that!
Kernel: I hope not.
Jack: Does my ass stink?
Kernel: Nope, smells like teen spirit!
Both: woof lol woof woof LOL!!!
Jack: Did Otin call Michel a bitch?
Kernel: He was just trying to help her maintain a certain image!
Jack: He better be joking or I will neuter the bastard!
Both: Growllll! Don't F with our Michel!!!!!

Day 4 (Six word saturday)

Kibbles and bits, Kibbles and bits!

Day 3

We want to show you some things that we love! This, for us, is like sex is for you humans, and you too, Otin!

This one was red! LOL! Jack really had to go!

Life is all about choices!

Jack, lets go eat Michel's little Debbies!

Day Two

Jack: You smell any good ass lately?

Kernel: Nah, too busy licking myself!

Jack: Thats why your breath stinks!

Kernel: We are in Sudan, everything stinks!

Jack: Where is Michel? I am damned hungry!

Kernal: She's buried in a box of little Debbies!

Both: woof laugh woof laugh!

Jack: I just peed, don't walk over there.

Kernel: OOH! I need to go smell it!

Jack: you are a sick puppy!

Kernel: You are the one that likes cat shit!

Jack: Michel likes cat food pate

Kernel: Yea, Michel has some strange quirks

Jack: Yep, she makes us ball sniffing, poo eating, pee wherever you want too,canines appear pretty normal!

Kernel: I still love her!

Jack: That's because she feeds us , you idiot!!!!

Day One

Kernel and I have decided to make our own blog. Michel is all the way in Sudan. She never calls us. We figure since she makes the time to talk to all of you. Maybe, she will come blog with us.

Michel,

We miss you very much. The doggie treats are all gone. We need our bellys scratched. I have a real itch down by my balls. I just can't seem to reach it.

Jack