Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Doggy Rhymes

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts — I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy — come to kill us all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man — come to kill us all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot —
Sniff this and weep.

I Hate my choke chain —
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot — no greater bliss — well,
Maybe catching cats.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.


Sunday, August 2, 2009

Doggy Rant

Well, we were in this dog meeting, that's what we call it when the neighborhood pets get together, Jack and I were there, but we were interested in the cat in the next yard, because that is what we do at meetings, our minds wander, all this talk about leash laws and rabies shots, WHERE are the milkbones, I mean SHEESH, how are we supposed to sit for this long without some sort of treat?! These dogs here are crazy! So, Fido, the head pup at this so called meeting, gets up and goes over to the tree and starts peeing! Jack and I almost died! He just let it all hang out and pee all over the place, it wasn't until later, that we found out that it was a joke! Anyway, we were talking about us, because that is what we like to do. The heat and humidity here sucks, We can't even chase a ball without needing oxygen, the other hounds here seem used to it, where are they from, hades? Are these hell hounds that we are surrounded with? Our dog house keeper didn't come the other day, like we are really supposed to take care of that ourselves? Give us a break, please! Could someone please send us some treats, we are tired of this cat food pate that we seem to have an abundance of. We know Michel has not been around in a while so we wanted to keep her spirit intact! Can you tell that we are her dogs? - Kernel